The show opens with a scene of the British flag being raised at the Prison. But all of that is nothing to the shot we have of Jamie. He's laying there on a table, his broken and abused hand present, his eyes vacant, his body filthy and naked. He doesn't move, he seemingly doesn't breathe. He is completely and utterly shattered. We see Black Jack Randall behind him sleeping, only to rouse and begin dressing. It's as he is dressing that Jamie snaps out of it and it is apparent that what he wants is for BJR to slit his throat. Randall grabs the knife to do just that but before he can, there are noises that rouse his attention. As Jamie sobs in defeat and anguish, BJR goes to inspect what is going on and as he nears the door...BAM....a heard of cattle come and run his ass over. Murtagh, Angus, and Rupert enter and save Jamie, then ride him to Claire waiting in the middle of the road.
When she sees his condition, she knows he needs help and so they ride to an abbey, intent upon getting him better. Now in the books, they travel to France before they even start the healing process but moving it up in the show, makes sense. A lot of stuff was left out to make time for what happens in this episode and therein lies some disappointments that we book readers have, but overall, I understood that the adaption had to make sense for non-book readers. And that little bit of the unexpected, keeps book readers on our toes.
So they are in the abbey, discussing what needs to be done. Jamie's having serious moments of PTSD, Claire's face, interchangeable to that of Black Jack Randall is having serious emotional repercussions. He's angry, hurt, broken, and utterly destroyed. The monks speak of his soul needing saving and there are several hints to his soul throughout the episode, no doubt hints to the title of this episode.
One of the most heartbreakingly delivered lines of the entire episode is when Claire asks him what happened and his response:
"To much, and not enough."
I will leave it to you, dear readers, to ascertain exactly what that statement means.
As the scene cuts back to a flashback of Jamie with BJR, I'm sick to my stomach. Tobias Menzies is gut wrenching, using kindness as a way of debasing and humiliating Jamie. This whole entire moment of glory is about his power over Jamie. He refers to Jamie as a "beautiful creature" rather than a human being and kisses him, but is not satisfied with Jamie's lack of response to him. Well that certainly won't do. He starts to give Jamie a few strokes with his hand and Jamie finds himself unwillingly responding, loses his temper and spits on him, telling him to take his pleasure and be done with it.
And then BJR picks him up, bends him over, spits on his hand and then proceeds to rape Jame Fraser until he screams. It is graphic, it is disturbing but it is not gratuitous. It's gut wrenching and terrible and horrible but in no way a gratuitious scene of violence. I started to cry and cry hard. Selena Gomez style:
As the flash back zones out, Jamie takes a healthy swig of laudenum, letting the opiate overtake him and then Claire sets to work. We hear her narration, discussing how Jamie had once said he could handle pain for himself but couldn't bear hers and it relates both ways. How she managed to have the strength, I will never know. As she is dismissed by the monk to go rest, she sets herself in the chapel. Another monk, the head of them I'm sure, enters and tells her he'll hear her confession. And so she confesses. She confesses EVERYTHING, blaming herself, ultimately for what has happened and the monk wisely tells her that perhaps her being here is some sort of miracle and tells her "whatever your sins my lady, have faith they will be forgiven,"
Murtagh and Jamie have a discussion but it is all in Gaelic. At moments like these, I really wish for the subtitles but understand that we are supposed to be as clueless as Claire about the Gaelic since this story was initially her point of view. Even so, it would be nice. I don't know what's being said at this point but Murtagh is looking like he's saying, use your damn head, don't be stupid, or are you insane?
We're having another flashback. Jamie's got blood all over between his thighs. And he's broken down enough that BJR manages to get him to brand himself with his initials. Marking him as property, debasing him even further. It breaks my heart in two and just when I'm finished sobbing about the first flashback, I'm reverted back to tears. It's so bad, so achingly realistic and disturbing.
As we're back in the allie, Willie tries to liven Jamie's spirits, try to help and Jamie tells him to cut his throat, that dying is far better than remaining here on earth. We find out in the next scene with Claire that that was essentially what he told Murtagh and the knowledge that Jamie wants to kill himself, put himself out of his misery, is enough for Claire to faint. When she comes to, the monk says that his soul is in danger of being lost forever in the darkness and Murtagh suggests that someone might have to slip into the darkness with him.
In the book, this was more self reflection on Claire's part than anyone telling her but that wouldn't exactly translate well to screen and so it was changed with Murtagh giving the suggestion of going there, rescuing him from his own thoughts. And so, she makes a vat of oil of lavender and goes to his room, determined. The resulting scene is her rousing anger out of him, and finally getting him to react to her in more than a dead stare and muted words. they end up on the ground, her trying to figure out why he's so destroyed, wanting to heal him and then she sees the brand. He tells her that he put the brand there himself and then goes on to explain that he was not just raped but made love too.
The final BJR flashback is the one scene that truly breaks my heart. Where Black Jack Randall uses lavender oil and uses his manipulation for Jamie to think of Claire. He uses Claire's power over Jamie to destroy him. This young man has faced hell, death and destruction but his breaking point is BJR using Claire to debase him, to demean him, to destroy him utterly and completely. Jamie finds pleasure with this final rape, the sort that comes from mental, emotionally and physical exhaustion. And when he comes to, and realizes that he found pleasure with his rapist, it's the moment that you see this man so full of pride and honor, break and shatter into a thousand pieces.
Male Rape has often been used as a punch line in tv shows and in movies while female rape is often used as a lazy plot device/place holder/shock value. Most times, female rape is meant to be gratutitous, appealing to the basement dwelling men who get off on the fantasy of a helpless woman. The rape of Jamie Fraser by BJR is none of those things. It's a disturbing look of violence, trauma and true destruction. It was depicted as the disgusting crime it is and not as a weak plot device meant to shock viewers. It was groundbreaking and horrifying.
As he finishes with his confession, thinking Claire would never forgive him, she does...and she manages to bring him out of the darkness enough that he can distinguish her from BJR. He comes back to reality. Is he completely healed? No he is not. I think that for people saying that he was healed with just a few hugs and tears are missing the point. He isn't healed. He isn't completely himself. All she's managed to do, is pull him out of the darkness enough that he has a will to live again. That's what he had lost and she brought it back. He's not completely better, he's not back to normal, and he is still traumatized, but at least now, he is not wanting to die and put himself out of his misery. He's willing to fight his way back to normacly or at least a semblance of it.
With Murtagh's help, they cut away the brand and then they get ready to travel to France.
As all say their goodbyes, we finally get a little bit of comic relief by Angus who decides to kiss Claire in a not so gentlemanly fashion and then Rupert does it with a bit more finesse by kissing her knuckles as that is the proper way to kiss a lady.
The final scenes of the episode are on a boat. Jamie makes a small joke, Claire is glad to see he has a sense of humor and he admits to trying. And then she suggests that they try and change the future. He doesn't think they can but he's at least game for it and then she makes one final reveal. That she is pregnant.
Jamie, who had thought he would never be a father, is struck with a moment of pure joy. For the first time in the episode, his eyes light up and he smiles and admits he never thought he'd be happy again, but he is and they embrace and so the episode ends.
It's been a long time coming, the end of a fantastic debut season. I'm so happy to see the books brought to screen, but very much sad that we now have to wait until next spring for Outlander: Dragonfly in Amber.
So a big thank you to all of the followers we have on tumblr, to the readers in Outlander groups on Facebook that read what I have to write, and thank you most of all to the cast and crew of Outlander for bringing us a wonderful first season. And with that, I make this special announcement:
