A Defense of "Hold the Fries"

Normally, I do not take personal matters to this fandom blog but I feel like something needs to be addressed. I am sure many of you reading this are members of a group on Facebook called Outlander Series. It is an extremely large group (the largest in fact) of Outlander lovers with fifty-four thousand members. I was once a part of this group. My first fandom group in fact. At first, I loved this group. I honestly did. I met a lot of great people, and I met a lot of awesome friends. Such a large group, is of course, going to have it's share of drama and there was no shortage of people who stirred the pot so to speak. But I took such things with a grain of salt. Back in January of this year (2015) now completely engrossed in all things Outlander, I found myself joining as many Outlander related groups as I could find. Outlander Uncensored, and Outlander Hold the Fries, and even creating my own Outlander Facebook group OutlanderSassenach. I was trying to find great discussion groups to discuss Outlander and also make friends that shared a similar interest to my own. Unknowingly I entered Hold the Fries, not realizing that this was an ordained "hate group" by the only active admin in the large Outlander Series group, Denise Fries. Now at first, I'll admit, I thought the commentary on how crazy this woman was was nonsense.

Personally, I had been getting contentious with a couple of catty women in Outlander Series, one of whom had essentially copied and pasted a tumblr post (with picture included) I had written way back in November of 2014 about how Kevin Ryan might possibly be in the running for the role of Roger MacKenzie. Now all I had done was screenshot what she wrote with my original post and then explained that the information was old and false. I was met with an explosion of catty remarks and the thread went on and on and on. I was relentlessly bullied for standing up for myself and so I left the large group after nothing was done to stop the bullying against me.

I ended up returning, still a member of this so called "Hate Group" with no issue. I had heard the stories of the crazy admin but we discussed plenty of Outlander that I just ignored what was going on when discussing a certain admin of OS. I even told my best friend about this group because the ladies within were fun and go lucky and maybe a little risque but I liked them. About three days after I told my friend to join the group, she too a member of Outlander Series, she was banned without notice or PM. I didn't understand. So I PMed a certain admin of Outlander Series and asked her about why my bestie was banned with no notice. It was a very polite discussion I'll admit. No mud slinging. I was told that if my best friend wanted to come back to OS she could PM said Admin and they would work it out. As it turned out, my friend had already been blocked by Denise and was unable to PM. I was then asked by Denise if my friend was part of Outlander Series - Hold the Fries and when I was affirmative, I was told, oh no, she can't be part of that. That's a hate group. I then informed her I was also part of said group (finding it unfair that people could be blocked and banned just for being in certain groups) and decided that I would leave OS voluntarily for I felt that my best friend was unfairly banned and I was going to stick up for my friends. I don't regret leaving, and by and far that was not the worst thing this woman has done. She accuses Hold the Fries of "stalking her page" But if you will look at this screenshot, you will see the recent activity in this supposed "hate group" is mostly Outlander related.

We aren't "stalking" her group. A few might have alternates and go in to take a peak at the crazy but most of our posts are in fact Outlander related. While there were some rather extreme memes made way back in the early days of this group, most memes are now just poking fun at her silly rules. There is even a twitter page dedicated to making fun of the silly rules that OS has (@DSFRules). "No Nitpicking" for example, or using the word "butthurt" are all considered bad form in Outlander Series. There is no real hate, and no one in the group is going to Denise Fries and bullying her in any form. If she is, trust me, you would know. An Example of Hold the Fries "bullying":

Many people that joined Hold the Fries have been maligned, called terrible, called haters, and from my experience are great people with only a single online enemy. Now Denise's reputation far exceeds her. Several groups online refuse to give her the time of day because of her behavior. Formerly, she was admin in Game of Thrones: Spoilers Welcome and was forced out for her micromanaging behavior. Groups were made as safe havens for ousted members in the Game of Thrones fandom as well. I've had several people tell me so and she was known "affectionately" in Spoilers Welcome as "Cape Ruby."

She refers to those she admins over as "lessers". She polices her group so that people that post a lot of Outlander related stuff have to be "limited to two posts a day" because people complain that those posting are posting to much. Over the weekend (between October 16-19, 2015) Hold the Fries had an influx of 150 new members. Part of a mass exodus from Outlander Series because one of the lovely ladies that posted videos there was thrown out, despite the videos dealing with her journey through reading the books for the first time. I feel, as a member of this Hold the Fries group, that we have been unfairly maligned and treated maliciously when in fact, most of the time, our focus is indeed Outlander. It's not a hate group so much as it is a safe haven for people to vent their frustrations and find new Outlander groups that are not admined by Denise Fries because they find her behavior controlling, narcissistic, and micromanaging. Rules of the group include that one cannot promote other pages, or personal products, and yet Denise promotes her own blog frequently AND her books while not allowing her group members to do so. How is that fair? Hypocrite much?

Threads that bash the show are left up while threads that promote what people love about the show are considered hate bating and are taken down. This isn't coming from me, but the countless people in the Hold the Fries group. For the group to have a No Drama motto, anything that promotes people's love of the show is often discounted or taken down or seen as stirring the pot. I just don't understand the hypocrisy of not being able to promote personal Outlander related stuff while the admin can shove the link of the book she wrote down the proverbial throats of Outlander Series Group members.

Now maybe in real life, Denise is a very nice person. Maybe she's a great person in fact, but online, her entire existence is revolving around smothering the opinions of others.

Outlander Series is a very very large group and with fifty-four thousand people, it's often hard to continue a popular conversation or posts get buried far to easily. The fact that people are not allowed to join certain groups just because the admin of one doesn't like it seems a bit weird you know? And also, when over 600 people are in a group relating the same sort of stories and experiences by a single person, perhaps the problem is not with them, but rather with the person they have contention with.

I just want to set the record straight. Yes, Hold the Fries sometimes get into a stint of Denise Fries bashing because often, those that go there are are hurt, upset and angry over the way they were treated. It is NOT a Hate Group though some may see it that way and is a gateway for people ousted from Outlander Series to find a new place to discuss their love of books.

I imagine this link will get to Denise in one form or another, as there are moles in the group and I am sure that I will be told to stop whining and be told "Omg it's just the internet" but if someone is able to write a blog post about how she has a hate group, I am allowed to defend my wonderful friends there who are great people, who felt they have been wronged and have a place to vent their frustration and anger. I was once a person who thought they were honestly just full of it, but I know these women. I've known them ten months and despite the treatment my best friend received from Denise, I'm glad she did what she did because I discovered how wonderful, and loving and embracing these ladies (and few gents) are. She can call us petty, say our claims are embellished. If that's the case, 600 people are all lying about similar circumstances, which seems a bit of a stretch does it not?

Anyway, if you are part of Outlander Series and are reading this, I just wanted to say that our group IS NOT a hate group, though Denise so often points out that it is. We spend most days discussing our lives and Outlander and not the woman who admins the biggest Outlander fan group of them all, as she so often states over and over again. Feel free to join us, but know that when you do, you will be banned because a single woman does not want you in other groups or promoting other groups and wants you all to your self. That's all it amounts too.

Until next time my fellow Sassenachs.